“Gravity, stay the hell away from me…gravity wants to bring me down…”
Strings tugging at US
Pulling us further apart
Emotional tug of
War of the roses
Modern day clash of the titans
Synonymous is now anonymous
I don’t know him anymore
And the question remains
Did I ever really know?
Our song is no longer our song
Cant really say THIS is us Falling In Love
Gravity’s got us falling APART
Opposite ends of the spectrum
Fighting to hold on
Subliminal messages got me hating us
I’m breaking away from us
fighting the ledge
On the edge
Of diabolical warfare
Word games laced with devious mind games
Its not the same to me
This is not the way it used to be
But maybe this is the way its SUPPOSED to be
Emotional recession
Reminiscent of the great depression
Second guessing and stressing
Falling to our knees in confession
Tired of crying, slowly dying
I‘d be LYING if I said I didn’t love you
But I cant take this anymore
And the truth is, THIS is not WORTH fighting for…
nina
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Your Letter...
Today I made the conscious decision to let you go. Its crazy because you made the exact same decision months ago. I guess its about time I follow suit, huh?
But its not that easy for me. And, for sake of sounding like a broken record, I wont mention that which you already know.
But I will say that these last few months have been mentally and emotionally numbing. Still, I held on. For whatever reason, I held on. I Refused to give in to the inevitable change looming around us. Hoping against hope, and for a brief moment, believing, that you would make your way back to me so that we could finish what we started.
Because I was looking forward to us. I believed in the picture you painted. The colorful plume of possibilities you splattered across that page drew me in. So I dropped my guard and held on.
But then it dawned on me, what was “ours” was never really ours to begin with. A mere figment of my imagination. A mirage conjured up to fill a void that had long been abandoned.
It was never real. It was all a dream. A sick masochistic untruth that I took pleasure in.
The possibility of you calling me or ringing my bell. Intimate conversation over green tea and Sade. You drowning your sorrows between my legs. Me letting go and giving in to that which I truly desired…you.
A dream deferred.
But now that my eyes are half way open, and my heart almost free, I let go.
After all, what’s the sense in holding on to something that runs from my touch and avoids my reach?
So take this as the last hoorah!
Its been a bumpy ride, but worth every bruise.
Blessings,
nina
But its not that easy for me. And, for sake of sounding like a broken record, I wont mention that which you already know.
But I will say that these last few months have been mentally and emotionally numbing. Still, I held on. For whatever reason, I held on. I Refused to give in to the inevitable change looming around us. Hoping against hope, and for a brief moment, believing, that you would make your way back to me so that we could finish what we started.
Because I was looking forward to us. I believed in the picture you painted. The colorful plume of possibilities you splattered across that page drew me in. So I dropped my guard and held on.
But then it dawned on me, what was “ours” was never really ours to begin with. A mere figment of my imagination. A mirage conjured up to fill a void that had long been abandoned.
It was never real. It was all a dream. A sick masochistic untruth that I took pleasure in.
The possibility of you calling me or ringing my bell. Intimate conversation over green tea and Sade. You drowning your sorrows between my legs. Me letting go and giving in to that which I truly desired…you.
A dream deferred.
But now that my eyes are half way open, and my heart almost free, I let go.
After all, what’s the sense in holding on to something that runs from my touch and avoids my reach?
So take this as the last hoorah!
Its been a bumpy ride, but worth every bruise.
Blessings,
nina
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
...
My intention was never to exact revenge.
It was merely an attempt at freedom.
Sweet emancipation from my thoughts and limitations
It was me going after what I wanted without really caring about
The repercussions.
Because, to me, being safe meant restriction. Not living. Not growing.
So I let go.
We let go…
We shed our inhibitions and gave in to something wildly beautiful…
We surrendered…
We surrendered to freedom.
nina
It was merely an attempt at freedom.
Sweet emancipation from my thoughts and limitations
It was me going after what I wanted without really caring about
The repercussions.
Because, to me, being safe meant restriction. Not living. Not growing.
So I let go.
We let go…
We shed our inhibitions and gave in to something wildly beautiful…
We surrendered…
We surrendered to freedom.
nina
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