32

Laying my emotions down since they tend to get me in trouble.

Tired of holding on so tight. Tired of caring so much.
To everyone.
About everyone.

united we Fall, divided we stand...alone

This is a separatist society. This is not a team nor an environment for team building. Rarely are things done collectively. Together. As a unit. Rarely do we lean on the other. Never are we bonded. We stand alone. There may be one on the outside of the opposite side trying to get in...or not.
But, mostly, we stand alone.

This wanting to be fed every hour on the hour is getting out of control.

31

Relax. Relate. Release.

How to be alone.
Not lonely.
Alone.
Learning.

30

Confessions of my subconscious.

I don't trust crooked answers.

I honestly think I'm a low-key nymph.
Hello 35.

29

Totally rethinking my decision not to quit.

My Tumblr dash is filled with music and penis.
I think the universe is trying to tell me something.

28

Caution thrown. Hope the wind catches it...or not ;)

I can honestly say that I'm offended.

Fuck complicated as it relates to relationships.
Give me simplicity any day.

27

You're not the only one with demons.

26

We all want attention.

Ask and I'll tell you everything.

25

Question everything.

24

Bears repeating:

Fundamentally, our lives are supposed to be filled with the things that ultimately make us happy. Our souls need to be nourished, enriched daily with our passions. Our gifts. Our talents. The various musings that make up who we are and fill us with immanent light.
Well I seem to have lost that glow. My light has dimmed. My soul is malnourished. Dissatisfied. Hungry for a dance, a love song, a poem, a story, a work of art. Something that lets me know that I am yet alive.
It has become nauseatingly difficult for me to sit behind this desk on a daily basis in a mind numbing stupor wasting away to what feels like nothing.
My creative juices have all but dried up and dissipated. I have been depleted of my happy. My joy extracted from the heart of me.
Unraveling at the seams.
I am not doing what I love and it's killing me.

23

Self preservation.

I convinced that He is preparing me for something greater. 'Cause this shit here...

better question: what separates you from the rest?
don't be typical.

Seriously, what separates me from the rest?

22

The very best part of me.

I have never been good at hiding my feelings, verbally or otherwise.  When I love, you see it. When I hurt, you see it. And everything in between.  There is no mask I don to give the illusion of happy. But, God, I wish there were.

We have been at each other’s throats for over a week. Every other week. And it’s always the same thing. We’re not talking. We’re not touching. We’re not loving or fucking. Maybe it’s me. Maybe my expectations for him to deliver on what he promised are a bit farfetched. Maybe my want and need for an intimate relationship with him is something far beyond his grasp. Maybe he just can’t give me what I want. Nor I him. Maybe love just isn’t enough. Anymore.

I am deeply conflicted. I love him incessantly and he loves me. I suppose. But the connection, if there ever really was one, is no longer there. The chemistry is off. I mean we have our moments where we get along famously, but, more often than not, we don’t. Get along. And maybe it would be easier for me to just pack up and leave if there wasn’t a child involved, but there is and I don’t want to take him away, and I refuse to walk away without him. So what do I do? What do I do with the pain that envelopes me every fucking day? That lulls me to sleep every fucking night? It hurts to talk to him. To look at him. To lay next to him.

 Daily I give myself to this man, to this relationship. And it hurts. And I am tired. And he sees this and knows this yet he does nothing. Says nothing. Instead he sits there. Watching me drown in a pool of my own tears.

Together we can.
Divided we won't.

Venus needs to be fed. 

21

Focus.

20

Blessed. Lessoned. And learned.

"You wanna be happy, find someone you like and never let em go."

Sometimes those closest to you hurt you the most.

19

Reclamation.

18

Confirmation.

No one wants to admit their wrongs. Instead we bottle them up inside and keep them there until we become so consumed by guilt, that the wrongs end up admitting themselves.

An alcohol swab to the brain to erase you from my memory.  If only it were that simple.

17

Hell hath no fury.

Our dreams tell us so much. 

"I am more interested in your fruit than I am your theology. If your knowledge doesn't better equip you to love, it's worthless." -Mattie Montgomery

When you value what you have, you do everything you can to protect it, when you don't, you let it fall by the wayside.
Currently by the wayside.

Sometimes giving a fuck takes too much energy.

16

No more playing it safe.

15

It is so easy to falter in times of strife.  Everyday I'm learning.
So far so good.

13

Be who you are when no one is watching.
Everyday. In every circumstance.

12

Why is it easier to lie than tell the truth?
We are all so caught up in false personification. Showing the world what they want to see instead of what they need to see.

What we glorify, we personify.

14

You can't run. You can't hide from your truths.

Like maybe I was his husband and maybe he was my wife

Been tempted by temptation all week. Finish what you start before you start something else.

11

Honesty.
Integrity.
Respect.
Yes, I can say I did the right thing. Today. But everyday is a challenge. And some days are better than others.

10

time to free my oppressed vagina.
this is just fucking crazy.

"Strong animals know when your hearts are weak, that makes them hungry, and that's when they start coming."

-Hushpuppy

real shit

I want to play with someone.
Someone who wants to play with me.

You say you know, but
you don't be knowing
the story that lies between these thighs
the secrets that hide behind my eyes
the tears evoked by my silent cries
the ties that bind my sleepless mind
you say you know, but
you don't be knowing
perhaps you would, if you paid attention

I want nothing from you, but everything with you. If you can't get with that, perhaps it's time to turn me loose.

Self doubt can kiss. my. ass.

And I am not mean. Im hurt.

If you knew of the things that excite me, the things that turn me on, that ignite fire, and incite passion, in me, you might not like me. Conversely, you may fall in love with me. Again.

9

Clarity.

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."  -Zora Neal Hurston

Especially when you're loving on yourself.

Encourage them if you like, but don't lose what you have for something of lesser value.

8.5

Be New.

8

Someone to love. Someone to hold. Someone to understand. To understand that I am not perfect, but  perfectly imperfect. Someone to know my story. The depth of my bruises. The sorrow in my cry. The cringe of my pain. The secret in my eyes.
Someone who knows that to love me is to accept me. Unconditionally. No matter how fucked up I can be.

Guards forever lifted.

7

Speaking of coming...I'm losing my religion.

6

Eat, Pray, Love's second coming....

5

Caring is a necessary evil.

4

I am losing my faith in people.

Protect what's precious to you.

It's nice to know someone is listening.

3

Change the things that move you. 
Get new eyes.

2

Fuck me to sleep.