I want you to devour me...consume me whole.
The addiction.
Flesh to flesh. Heart to soul.
Elation. Eternal appreciation for what we share...
a side note written in Braille that only you and I can see.
Invisible to the naked eye, but painfully clear to you and me.
Simplicity in its simplest form.
Us.

nina

You...

Cannot erase my thoughts with a mere kiss to the frontal lobe, and a pat on the ass. After all is said and done, I'm only left with a wet forehead, a tender ass, and my ever present thoughts.

I have to get out of here before I lose myself.

Inspiration at work...

I don't think he even knew I took this :-)

Last night I cried. Not only because my feet were on fire, but also because the message in that performance fed my soul. 
I truly believe God puts people in your life for a reason. I met this dude years ago. We never really talked on the phone or hung out. I never saw the need to carry our association beyond what it was, which was not much.
But we managed to stay linked.
Via myspace, facebook, twitter, and/or text we continued to connect and I began to see the value in our friendship.
But I didn't realize until a couple of months ago just why God placed him in my life: To inspire change; to give me that proverbial kick in the pants.
Last night he took me on a journey. PAIN. TRANSITION. TRIUMPH. Took me through history. His story chock full of raw, fluid emotion emersed in truth. It was real, it was honest. No holds barred inspired.
And in listening, and dancing, and singing, and having church in every sense of the word, I found my truth. My inspiration. My motivation to tell my story without fear. Fear of judgement, disappointment or loss.
So to you, dear sir, I salute, and I thank you immensely for sharing your story.

Apple Store, Michigan Avenue

10-6-2011


I’d be lying if I said I was in good spirits today. I’m not. But I am trying.
I woke up thanking God for another day and another chance to make Him proud of me. Prayed for peace, guidance, and a strong will to sustain me. Asked for forgiveness for my sins (I have many) and blessings as He sees fit.
He has not failed me yet and I thank Him for standing with me in the midst of this tumultuous battlefield.
But my heart is heavy. So heavy. Anchored down by doubt, fear, uncertainty, and anger all from a past resurfaced.
I looked at his FB page today and there it was. There she was, offering herself up on a plate of gravy and biscuits ready to be sopped up…by him.
My face was flushed. My ears were hot. And my temper boiled through my veins.
Anger, frustration, and a tinge of jealousy filled my space and I was ready to pounce. Like a lioness to her prey, I was out for blood.
But that’s not me. It’s not who I am. My momma raised me better than that.
So I reached deep down in my pocket…for a prayer, a word, or the good sense God gave me.
“Dear Lord God Please don’t let me act a fool on here”
My anger has since subsided, but the fear, doubt, and uncertainty remain. Hence my current mood.
Things will never be simple with us. There will always be some untold truth. Always a question. Always someone on the outside trying to get into our inside to sneak a piece of the pie.
I’m not sure if I have the strength to endure the tug of war all over again. Not sure if I want to. Not sure if its worth it.
Love is. But…are we?
Too many times I have had to talk myself down from the proverbial ledge of emotional self destruction based off what I saw and carnal knowledge of the flesh. His flesh. My flesh.
I need stability. Need to feel safe. Safe in knowing that if I turn my head for a moment, you won’t be doling out the pie behind my back.
But if that is the case, if you do give away the pie behind my back, then it was never really my pie to begin with.

"Stay hungry, Stay foolish." -Steve Jobs

Sasha and Kent - Contemporary - So You Think You Can Dance

His...

telepathy is questioning my fidelity and I...question my integrity
naturally, my dignity's in breach, and my mind's out of reach for questioning....

nina