Is It Worth It?

“Drifting on a memory, there’s no place I’d rather be than with you…loving you…”

Here we go again…

Damn this tender heart of mine…

To be able to love freely and so deeply is both a blessing and a curse…

No need to explain.

I’m trying to keep a strong firm stance, but my wall is crumbling bit by bit…

COMPLETE and UTTER RANDOMNESS in 5...4...3...2...1...

I checked my gmail the other day to find a mess of random proportions from “him”
It was an email explaining his absence; explaining his reasons for not calling or texting or reaching out in close to two months. And while his honesty is greatly appreciated, that still doesn’t change the fact that I have long since moved on. And I am no longer feeling guilty about my decision. I mean he pulled out all the stops…I love you. I miss you. You inspire my work…blah blah blah! And after I told him that I was done, no longer in that place where I once found myself mystified by the very essence of him (I'm such a fucking poet…don’t you know it…) He comes waaaay out of left field with “I am contemplating spending the rest of my life with you…asking you to be my wife…and things of the sort…” MAAAAN if you don’t GTFOHWTBS!!!!! So I tell you I’m done, you don’t want me to be with anyone else so you threaten me with marriage??? WHAT THE HELL!!!

YOWZAH!

“Can we call it love or is it safe to say it’s lust…”

Make sure you’re healed from all your past hurts before you come talking about being with me.

I have enough emotional baggage of my own. And this load is far too heavy for me to be trying to carry your shit too.

TRUTH.

Not being mean or anything, I’m just saying.

All of this emotional distress and repression is indicative of the times in which we live.

Everyone is heart broken, torn, scorned, and jaded; hearts tainted, and guarded from the past hurts they endured but barely survived.

No one said it was easy, but is it safe to say it was worth it?

Is it worth it?

Love.

Is it worth it?