Thursday Morning Blues…




Woke up feeling some kinda way…

Mainly about him.

Whatever thoughts or feelings I conjured up about him yesterday have turned to dust over the course of 24 hours…

I keep picturing us …together. And while a pretty picture we make, the negatives don’t coincide with the photograph in my mind.

And I am trying my best not to dump all of my mess on him, as we both come with baggage, but my emotions are getting the best of me. And speaking from my head rather than my heart is becoming increasingly difficult.

Lust, love, like…LUST.

My insides are confused.

I listen to his words and I know he means well, however sincere or insincere they maybe.

Then I get stuck.

I have an insatiable appetite for all things that make me feel good…

He makes me feel good.

Perhaps its psychological.

Maybe I am mind fucking myself making myself believe something as far fetched as him actually wanting me the way he says he does.

Maybe the words I hear are not his words, but merely words contrived from my innate need to feel loved. Desired.

Complete neurosis.

Utter confusion.

Thursday Morning Blues…





nina