An Ode to The Past...

9-19 1/2-2011

When I walked into that house that Friday night, I walked right into my past.
All of my stories and secrets, once buried alive, quickly permeated the air, suffocating me with every attempted breath.
I was horrified. What had I gotten myself into? Who knew what? And, how did they know?
Was my friendship with her, however estranged even worth the torture of revisiting and reliving a past I had long since concealed and pushed deep in the bowels of my belly? At that moment, I honestly didn’t think so.
I considered running. Thought about saying fuck it and turning my black ass right back around.
I wasn’t ready.
Guilt escaped my body, seeped through my pores, and clouded my vision. Nothing was clear to me anymore, except for the fact that I did not want to be there among the people I had wronged and who had wronged me so carelessly so long ago.
And no matter the excuses, or fabricated tales, I knew, at the surface, that I deserved those stares and whatever they had said about me that night, was probably true.
So, I bore those letters proudly. The color of blood. Scarlet red. The letter A followed by two SS’s proceeding the words KISS and MY.
After all even the preacher, and preacher’s kids, and the preacher’s kids’ kids have a few skeletons lying around in their closet.
　
nina