Inglorious BASTARD!!!

Some people are just ass holes for no reason at all.
To them I say " GO SUCK A BIG FAT NASTY ONE!!!"
Inglorious bastards!!!
I digress...
From this moment forward, I promise to direct all ill/negative energies at its intended target...and stop slapping innocent by-standers. They should not have to pay for your shortcomings.
I have been holding on to something for about a week that I must now release from my spirit.
Harboring ill feelings is so not a part of my blueprint, no matter what the offense.
Today I purge...

An Ode To Carl Lee Williams...

Dearest father,
Fuck you!  Just who in the hell do you think you are? Where do you get off telling me, your daughter, that I am not marriage material?! Telling me that I'm just like my uncle, in that I'm too much of a "player"??, and I don't know how to settle down, therefore I will never get married??!?!? You egotistical self serving son of a bitch! How dare you!
For the past 28 of my almost 32 years I have done nothing but search and struggle to find someone/something to fill the proverbial VOID that you left when you abandoned me, my mom, and my brother. Leaving me empty, alone, and confused. Confused about why you left, not knowing whether or not it was my fault; totally blaming myself for the demise of our family (or lack there of). I wondered what it truly meant and felt like to be loved, and wanted, and needed by the man that I was supposed to look up to; the man I was supposed to model my future husband after. But only you weren't there. Yet you continued to shower me with empty promises and broken dreams. Leaving my mom to pick up the pieces of a heart that you shattered every chance you got because you were too much of a coward to step up and take care of your responsibilities. You, instead, decided to hoe around and live a life of crime, degradation, and nothingness. Yet you have the absolute nerve to tell me I wont get married because I'm too much of a what?! Get the fuck out of here with *that* bullshit!
Did you ever stop to think that maybe you're the reason I'm so fucked up in the head when it comes to men, love, and relationships? Did you ever think that maybe you had a major hand in my not being able to decipher the difference between love and lust? And that the absence of a real father figure has left me blinded, jaded, and emotionally undone? You pompous ego maniac!
How dare you try to tear me down in order to build yourself up!
Fuck you and your stupid words!
Fuck you and your meaningless gestures!
Fuck you and your consistent inconsistencies!
Fuck you and your dead promises!
Fuck you and your disillusioned and misguided attempts to make up for times past through my child...
And NO! I am not bitter! Just ready to let go. And rather than falter because your foolishness, my stance is steady and I choose to persevere!
I know who I am, what I want, and what I deserve. I know my worth...and that, dear father, is something you can never take away.
Let me end by saying that I do love you, beyond measure. I just don't like you very much...